Story of February
IrnaMolly
The name is Irna
I am half of Han
I ADORE OWLS!
I don't care what you wanna say and Im not asking for your opinion about me
I skate on rollerblades and falling is just another bump on the ass. No Biggie.
I don't think Im a negative person and I dislike having negative people around me
Life is a journey full of missions and tough challenges
Bubblegums are heaven
Smoking is my hobby
Found the love of my life- Han Riley
Go ahead, poke the fire~
Green Tea is the shittttt
Big Girls Toys
My 'killer' stuffs by IrnaMollyfrom Han Riley
Tagboard
without you
Thursday, October 22 @ 12:56 AM
what are your roles as a girlfriend?
i never had to think about this until now. its just unreal. the disputes are getting out of control. people might see us being a happy couple but there are many issues that we are facing and going through which i think make us alot more stronger when this challenge is complete. without these challenges, we won't realize how deeply we are with each other. there are many things that i did that tore us apart. besides having to contact my ex bf just to break up with him at one point of time back then. please, i was breaking down pretty bad. now here goes my dignity. a few months after, i somehow contacted another guy to 'replace' him. and it was truly a disaster. how can you not betray the trust you NEVER gain? and that guy did not even attend NS. he's a big fat liar and he is skinny as a surfboard. well, han forgives me and thats when i learnt he's not gonna ever leave me. its good enough when you know someone who truly loves you, won't ever leave you rather then someone who pretends to love you and then ditch you. truthfully enough, i never thought i won't be forgiven. ever. despite the shit i threw, he still claim i belong to him. i'd never really thought i would do such a disgraceful thing to him. but for those who are close to me, they know the story. it was hard for me at that point when i pledged myself to walk away. but tell me, inside my cracker nut head- im actually very naive. naive to let people's thoughts ruin my relationship. that's when i ran far away from my close friends. im not saying they're not good friends, but somehow your heart really feel something others don't. i am now officially lack of confidence with myself and my capability. to love-actually. my bf is forgiving and pour out his love endlessly to me and i do appreciate it. but his anger and his words could pierce me deep inside so bad. its like a 3 year old who got lost in the woods. i couldn't find any safe spot to hide my feelings. the situation right now is his mum is warded in the ICU. and his dad just collapsed at the hospital lobby in the evening because he hasn't been eating and resting well this past weeks. and han, he is working with the army. its not as easy as it seems. he said, im irritating. and wanted me to leave his house at one point. but i just wanted to be there for him. thru thick and thin. whatever it takes. i brokedown pretty hard just now. im scared i'll lose him. i know i did alot that makes him sad, mad, furious whatsoever. i know im not a good gf. he never said it himself. but im whatever he wants. whatever he dreamed of. i've gotta change somehow. and its not gonna be easy nor would it be a fast transition. im hoping for the best even if it mean not being together. im not gonna hurt him anymore. im just waiting patiently for a miracle to happen. and hopefully, it will change our lives.