Story of February
IrnaMolly
The name is Irna
I am half of Han
I ADORE OWLS!
I don't care what you wanna say and Im not asking for your opinion about me
I skate on rollerblades and falling is just another bump on the ass. No Biggie.
I don't think Im a negative person and I dislike having negative people around me
Life is a journey full of missions and tough challenges
Bubblegums are heaven
Smoking is my hobby
Found the love of my life- Han Riley
Go ahead, poke the fire~
Green Tea is the shittttt
Big Girls Toys
My 'killer' stuffs by IrnaMollyfrom Han Riley
Tagboard
tears
Tuesday, November 3 @ 10:31 PM
my eyes hurt.
from crying nonstop since around 7pm till now.
for those who have yet to know, Han's mum passed in the evening today.
Han is not doing okay. and neither am i.
we had breakfast together at his house in the morning. it was our mini-celebration.
got a call from his cousin to be at the hospital a.s.a.p. i knew something was not right. but i nvr showed any emotions, i was pretending to be strong for him. that morning was the best morning ever. we laughed and enjoyed the time being together. han was so manja with me. but then, soon the situation worsen.
Han did not allow me to follow as im having my first day and he is scared something will happen to his mum. i head back home while he cabbed to NUH. that period of time, everything went from happiness to grief. reached home, texted him to tell him that im home and he called.
"Baby, Mama have only an hour with us the doctor told me."
you have no idea what was going thru my mind. i hide my emotions pretty well, i kinda pretend it wasn't a big deal when actually i was panicking inside out. sometimes, i hate myself for being this way. bcos Han will say that ive got some attitude disorder and some shit just because i asked him to visit his mum [without emotions] this past weeks that made him think i wasn't happy about it. which is so frustrating bcos honestly, i am a family-oriented person and he is not. not unless something like this happen. i prayed hard for his mum and thanked those who prayed for her. around 7pm, Han called me crying and stuttering words i don't wish to hear. she left us to be with the Great one. I dont know how to react to that, i cried and wished i could be there with him. I dont know why i keep calling him asking how he was and all. i just want to know.. i mean i need to know cos i care for him, i really do. i cried too much for the fact that i felt less important and it hurts me when he said SEDARE DULU. PLS. [relatives first. pls] like i was there with him everyday, delivering food to him, being there the whole night watch him go to sleep and get up at 430am just to make sure he wasn't late for work and leaving the house when im half awake taking the train while his friends pick him up with a motorbike. and to that extend, i was so sad when he did not update me anything at all. until i had to say harsh things which i dont mean at all. i dont need to wait for his calls or msgs if i dont care about him am i right to say that? the fact is, as much as he is sad right now, im sad too. i cant be there with him i did not seek forgiveness to his mum and my parents were too busy to visit his mum until now. im sorry if ive said some harsh things to you, im sorry for being selfish and im sorry for your loss. ily deeply md munifahanis.